Abraham Lincoln once said that: "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." Or, in other words, happiness is a choice.
Many people have set ideas about what a happy life ’should’ look like. Happiness is seen as a goal to be attained in some future moment when conditions are ripe. They are waiting for happiness to happen to them.
When I have more money, meet the right partner, move to a warmer climate, find my life purpose - then I will be happy.
As long as we place conditions on our happiness, we will continue to overlook the possibility that what we seek may already be there within us. We will always be in the process of 'becoming' happy rather than choosing to simply be happy here and now, whatever our circumstances.
Happiness research consistently shows that external factors play a surprisingly small role in determining how happy we are. There are plenty of unhappy millionaires out there.
If wealth, fame or fortune
could make us happy, then Holywood should be the happiest place on
earth. This is clearly not the case.
The truth is that as long as we have a 'becoming' mindset and as long as we are chasing after future happiness, we will never be content with the moment as it is. We will always be looking for the next thing to make us happy.
Authentic happiness can never be found on the outside. Happiness is a choice, a state of being.
CHOOSING FOR HAPPINESS NOW
The future, when it comes, will arrive as another NOW.
If we are not content with this NOW, it is an illusion to believe that any future NOW will be any different.
Even if we get the new job, the new car, the new partner, until we change our relationship with the moment, no amount of things will ever be enough.
We need to learn to choose happiness now, which is the only time it can be experienced. This requires learning to change the way we habitually think.
Whatever we are experiencing in any given moment, we are free to choose how we wish to respond.
Through learning to consistently choose thoughts and actions which support happiness, we can gradually loosen the grip of our old unhappy habits and choose to be happy here and now. Happiness is a choice.___________________________________________________________________________________
7 HAPPINESS-BUSTING HABITS AND THEIR REMEDIES
Are you a compulsive complainer with a tendency to moan about everything that is wrong?
Remedy: Cultivate An Attitude Of Gratitude. Each time you catch yourself complaining, STOP - choose instead to make a list, either on paper or in your head, of 3 things that have gone well today.
Ask yourself: "What is more important for me right now? To complain or to be happy?
Are you argumentative? Do you always have to have the last word? Do you have a strong need to be right?
Remedy: Choose to let go of the need to be right. What a relief!
Ask yourself: What is more important for me right now? To be right or to be happy?
Are you quick to point the finger of blame at others? Do you see yourself as an innocent victim of your life situation?
Remedy: Take responsibility for your own happiness
Ask yourself: "Is it really true that I am unhappy because of the way that others are? Or am I simply choosing to be unhappy anyway and am unwilling to admit it to myself?
Do you feel the world revolves around you and your needs? Do you enter situations with an attitude of "What's in it for me?"
Remedy: Focus on giving. Look for opportunities to serve others. Focusing on the happiness of others will transform your life in miraculous ways.
Ask yourself: "Does always putting myself first make me happy? Do I really want to be happy?
5. CRITICISING / JUDGING OTHERS
Remedy: Look for the good in others. Everyone, without exception, has good qualities. You will find them if you choose to look.
Ask yourself: "How does criticising make me feel? "Do I want to feel this way or would I prefer to be happy?"
6. HOLDING GRUDGES
Are you holding anyone prisoner inside yourself -someone you believe has wronged or harmed you in some way?
Ask yourself: "What do I want more right now? To continue feeling the contraction of holding this person prisoner or to release them and be happy?"
Do you resent the success or achievements of others?
Remedy: Celebrate the happiness of others
Ask yourself: "What do I want more for myself? To hold onto the pin of feeling envious or to be free of it and to be happy?
Happiness is a choice. What are you choosing for?
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additional resources: Scientific Proof That Happiness Is A Choice