Hello and welcome to the July edition of the
Happiness Now E-Zine".
• Instead of Waiting For The Perfect Moment
To Arrive, Make This Moment Perfect!
Kick The Thinking Habit
How To Pull The Plug On An Overactive Mind
And Reclaim Your Peace And Serenity
• Dropping Our Resistance To What Is
• Thinking Seriously Harms You And Those Around You
Hello from rainy Scotland.
I read today that we have
just had the wettest June since records began in 1860.
Thank goodness that happiness is an inside job!
If happiness came from the outside, we Scots would be a pretty miserable bunch with all this rain falling.
I am feeling refreshed and recharged after my recent trip to India and am very happy
to be here, sharing these words with you. As well as having quiet time to go inside, I also finished writing my new book: "Kick The Thinking Habit", a book that has been sitting in my head wanting to come out for quite some time. More about that later.
As well as posting articles on topics I believe may be of interest to you, my wish is for this to be a two-way conversation. If you wish to ask any questions, share your own stories or experiences or put forward topics for discussion, I would love to hear from you.
Instead of Waiting For The Perfect Moment
To Arrive, Make This Moment Perfect.
Are you waiting for something to change in your life before you can experience happiness?
For many people, happiness is conditional. If I win the lottery or meet the right partner, when I receive an apology, lose weight, find my life purpose - then I will be happy.
While we are waiting for the perfect conditions to arrive, we live in a state of 'becoming' happy. As long as the present moment is judged by the mind to be in some way unacceptable or 'not enough' as it is, happiness remains out of reach - as a goal to be experienced in some future moment when the conditions are right.
One of the main obstacles to happiness for many people are the preconceived ideas we hold about what happiness should look like. I should fit into a size 12 dress, my boss should recognise how talented I am, I should be paid much more for what I do, all the bankers should be thrown in jail. Even when the circumstances in our lives momentarily match the mind's ideas of what happiness should look like, they never stay that way for long.
Everything on the outside is subject to change. The very person or thing that makes us so happy one moment becomes the cause of our misery in another.
It is not only our life circumstances that appear to stand in the way of our happiness but often our thoughts, feelings and emotions too. We are happy to experience thoughts of love and peace or emotions such as joy.
When they appear, they are welcomed and meet with no resistance whatsoever. The moment, however, that thoughts of anger or emotions such as fear or sadness appear in our experience, they are seen as undesirable and we want them to go away.
Just as we desire certain circumstances and resist others, certain thoughts, feelings and emotions are welcomed whilst others are labeled 'bad' or 'wrong' by the mental commentator. We then logically believe that, in order to be happy, we must first fix or correct that which is 'broken' within ourselves.
We don't think to question the labeling itself. Who says that sadness is "bad" or that anger is "wrong?' Have you ever thought to question it?
We think:: "Once this anger/sadness/worry/jealousy has passed, I will be happy again. It doesn't occur to us that these thoughts or feelings don't need to leave in order for us to be happy.
Our unhappiness does NOT come from the thoughts,
feelings or circumstances themselves but from
our judgement and resistance towards them.
What happens to your sadness if you don't label it as bad and have no problem with it being there? What happens to your agitation if you wrap it in the peace of total acceptance? What happens to your jealousy if it is not taken seriously - or personally?
And how do we do this?
We do this by making each moment our friend … in whatever form it appears. We do this by consciously, as best we can, allowing each moment to be as it is. If there is something in your life that you cannot accept you can choose to allow your inability to accept it to be OK too.
Instead of Waiting For The Perfect Moment
To Arrive, Make The Present Moment Perfect.
Happiness can only be experienced NOW. There has never been and will never be a time that is not NOW. The future, when it arrives, will arrive as another NOW moment. If we cannot accept this moment as it is, it is an illusion to believe that some future moment will be any different. As long as we continue to believe that things should look a particular way, we will continue to be disappointed.
Click on the following link to download a free chapter from
"Kick The Thinking Habit"
Dropping Our Resistance To What Is
For years I shared the confines of my own head with a restless and often neurotic chatterbox for company. The incessant mental dialogue used to drive me nuts. It was not unlike having a noisy television blaring in the background all day long.
Over many years, I tried a multitude of ways to drown out, numb myself to, escape from, fix and change the troublesome voices in my head. Focused always on what was 'wrong' and what I believed needed 'fixing', I gave the mind power and the task was never-ending.
And then one day, on a meditation retreat, I SAWsomething for the first time which had a profound and immediate impact on my experience of peace and happiness.
And it was this:
WE DO NOT NEED TO FIX OR CHANGE OUR THOUGHTS, FEELINGS OR EMOTIONS IN ORDER TO EXPERIENCE PEACE. WE JUST NEED TO DROP
OUR RESISTANCE AND LET THEM BE AS THEY ARE.
The book offers clear and insightful guidance on how to achieve this. Click the following to download the Introduction for free.
Thinking Seriously Harms You And Those Around You
"Don’t be concerned about the thoughts that come and go.
Leave the mind in peace to do its dance, and it will leave you in peace to do yours. Don’t touch it and you will remain untouched by it." - from Kick The Thinking Habit
I look forward to talking again next month.
In Peace, Love, and Happiness, Richard