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Happiness Now E-zine, Issue #006 -- Allowing things To be As They Are
April 05, 2013

Hello and welcome to the Spring edition of the
Happiness Now E-Zine


Allowing Life To be As It Is (article)
Are you caught up in the dance of chasing after pleasurable experiences and resisting unpleasant ones?

This Being Human Is A Guest House
My favourite poem by Rumi, all about allowing things to be as they are.

NEW* FREE YOUR MIND Happiness Coaching Online


Dear Friends,

I hope this finds you well and enjoying the spring wherever you are.

The theme for this month's edition is ALLOWING. Much of the unhappiness and suffering we experience comes, not from the events and circumstances we encounter, but from our inner resistance to them.

Lets look at a way to experience peace ...whatever is going on.

I hope you enjoy this month's article and, as always, I would love to hear your feedback.

Wishing you peace and happiness, Richard


Allowing Life To be As It is

Are you caught up in the dance of chasing after pleasurable experiences and resisting unpleasant ones?

There are three basic types of happiness. The first two, pleasure and satisfaction, are dependent on events external to ourselves. We are happy when we get what we want or when things go our way. When things go against us, however, or when we have unwanted thoughts or feelings, we experience the opposites, pain and dissatisfaction.

The third type of happiness is the type that spontaneously bubbles up from within for no particular reason.

Happiness in children is simply an expression of their true nature. Free of mental conditioning, they are in close contact with their unconditioned, joyful selves.

However it may seem, inner peace and happiness are present in you and I as adults too. So, why is this not always our experience?

In most of us, they are so covered up by complex layers of conditioning - our many false beliefs about who we are and what happiness SHOULD look like - that only a diluted amount is able to shine out through the cracks.

Directly experiencing the happiness within happens naturally when we peel away the layers of mental conditioning and realign with our original, authentic and unconditioned Selves.

Until we become sufficiently aware however, most people are caught up in the endless cycle of chasing after what they believe will make them happy and trying their best to avoid things they they don't like.

And, this is also completely natural of course. Even a cat prefers to sit by the warm fire than outside in the cold.

No matter how hard we try, however, it is impossible to experience ups with no downs. As long as we are attached to particular outcomes and things (including thoughts and feelings) being a certain way, we are like rudderless boats bobbing up and down at the mercy of the changing sea - up one minute, down the next.


When the cat fails to catch the bird, it returns immediately to its natural state of alertness and present moment awareness. It loses no peace over what happened.

It doesn't analyse what went wrong, beat itself up or compare itself unfavourably with the cat next door. There is no inner resistance to the experience. We can learn to live like this too.

The whole of creation, with the exception of humans, flows effortlessly with whatever life brings. In nature there are no problems - only situations. Problems exist only in the human mind.

Situations deemed (by the mind) to be 'good' are not resisted and cause no suffering. Same with happy thoughts. We have no problem allowing what we perceive to be good to be as it is.

As soon as a 'bad' thought, feeling or situation arises, however, we judge it as undesirable, resist it and create suffering as a result. Without mental labeling, without resistance, all thoughts and feelings are neutral events that arise temporarily in our awareness and disappear again.

Our suffering comes not from the events themselves, but from our mental commentary about and inner resistance to them.

Lets take an example. Say you are feeling bored or sad. Almost everyone would automatically label these feelings as 'not good' or 'undesirable' and want to be free of them. We now suffer on account of the feeling AND our inner resistance to it.

What would happen if you said "Yes" to the boredom or welcomed the sadness? What happens to your unhappiness if you drop your inner resistance and don't mind it being there?

The key to experiencing peace lies in making our unconscious resistance conscious.

Next time you experience a 'negative' feeling or emotion try, as best you can, to separate the feeling itself from the mind's commentary about it. Allow the feeling to simply be there, without labeling it good or bad, without judgment, without trying to fix it or escape from it and see what happens.

In the absence of mind involvement, all feelings are just energy moving through us. They may still be unpleasant , but that is OK - if you allow it to be OK. Feel it, allow it and it will cause you no trouble.

I will continue on this theme in the next e-zine.


The following is my favourite poem from the Sufi mystic Rumi. In it, he gives clear instruction on how best to deal with troublesome thoughts, feelings and emotions. I would recommend reading it at least twice.

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they're a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still, treat each guest honorably.

He may be clearing you out for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.

~ Rumi ~



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Thank you for reading the newsletter.

Please email me at with any comments, feedback or suggested topics.

I hope to create a Facebook Group soon with a forum page to enable you to leave messages - so look out for it!

Wishing you peace and happiness

Richard :)

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