How to forgive someone who has harmed, upset or angered you?
Bearing grudges, maintaining icy relationships and holding resentment are significant barriers to experiencing inner peace and joy.
Whether you feel justified in maintaining your position or not, the truth is, that you are allowing something beyond your control (other people's actions) to affect your inner space and rob you of your peace.
If you want to make peace your priority, it is essential to recognise that:
No-one has the power to affect our state of mind unless we allow it.
know this may be contrary to many people's experience and you may be
saying "yeah right... you don't know how bad this guy was!"
Nonetheless, until we recognise that we alone are responsible for our inner peace, it will always remain out of reach. Taking full responsibility for our own happiness is immensely empowering.
A good question to ask yourself frequently is:
What is more important to me right now? To be right or to be happy?
When we decide to make inner peace our number one priority, then the question is not so much how to forgive but rather "do I have the strength of character and the willingness to forgive this person?"
You are doing it for you, not for them.
The more resistance you feel to letting go and offering forgiveness, the greater will be the resulting relief that you experience. Holding anger or resentment is exhausting.
I have discovered that I can ALWAYS let go ...if I choose to. It is a question of willingness rather than whether I can or not.
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